Good Afternoon,
Hope you had a joyous Diwali
This Diwali, while exchanging countless WhatsApp messages and calls, I found myself wondering: what does friendship really mean?
There’s a concept called Dunbar’s Number—the idea that our brains can only handle about 150 meaningful relationships. But I think friendship is more than just a number. It’s about depth, not quantity.
I’ve come to see friendship as an ecosystem with six distinct types:
Bosom Buddy – A childhood friend, from Kindergarten, Dorm Mate from IIMA – who asks “no-questions “, who doesn’t even need a Diwali WhatsApp wish. But if you meet him/her after 3 years, the conversation starts from where it last ended. I have 6 such buddies from school; we have a well-knit gang (all married and now mothers bearing responsibilities of their kids) and somehow the bonds are so deep that I have never felt motivated to attempt deep friendship with anyone else. Conversations on our whatsapp groups, whenever they happen, happen for hours – randomly remembering that school teacher, how she punished Rohit ……….
Trusted Pal – The ones you call without qualms – no need to WhatsApp before calling. They listen without judgment and help you see yourself clearly. They often play Devil’s Advocate. You often call them on Diwali – its that deep.
In for a reason – Colleagues at work, neighbours on a B-school campus, gym buddies. There is a shared context – it is all smiles till the context remains relevant – and then it is just a phonebook entry – with occasionally liking their status updates mechanically – applying emojis just to infuse some breath into the faded relationship. You often mechanically wish Diwali on that 86th Whatsapp group that was formed when the context was alive
Social Circle – You join this networking club in town – youngsters in the 30s meet over events– There is joy and laughter, even if they never become your closest friends. You will think twice before talking to them about your problems – you are not sure how they will react. It will be all happiness when you meet them at the ensuing Diwali Meet
Bridge Builders – Your LinkedIn connections and alumni networks. They may not necessarily be CHROs and CFOs to get you that vendor empanelment, but will often put in a word and that matters. They open doors to new opportunities. Somehow you may not necessarily have great bonds of friendship with them – but it’s a “quid pro quo” relationship. Thus, very very important to send personalised Diwali greetings to them
Outer Orbit – Digital followers who like and comment on your posts. Anurag has 1 lac+ of them on LinkedIn, YouTube, Somehow, unless it is really destined, the conversation doesn’t move to Whatsapp. But sometimes its very strong on the platform itself. Mutual respect but remained with roots. Diwali Greetings for such followers are like “TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN”
This Diwali made me grateful for every type of friend in my life—each plays a unique role.
Hope this resonates with you too.
