Oh People

1) Blatant display of \’Pregnancy Photo-Shoots\’ on social media

Hey, we are really happy that you will have a new angel in your life. May God bless him/her. But what is the value you are adding by displaying your protruded 8th/9th month belly on Facebook and scouting around for likes and comments.

Yes we live in a society which has migrated from the implicit to the explicit; be it birds romancing in the air to signify \’first-night\’ romance to the current times !

My limited submission is, have some decency and draw the line between privacy and personal life.

I know photographers portray this as being very cool ( after all, this practice has opened a new source of revenue stream for them); but please apply your mind. Even if you want to preserve memories, please keep these pics for yourself !

2) Marking yourself safe on FB and coloring your DP to sympathize with victims

Whom are you kidding dear ? If someone is really aggrieved, why don\’t you do something constructive about it !! Case in point is the recent Girish Park flyover incident ! You could have easily gone to the site and helped victims; you could have gone to a blood donation camp ! But you didn\’t and merely marked yourself safe !!Its only Zuckerberg who is minting money out of this exercise ; please stop being fooled !

3) Watching Star Plus and Sony soap operas for years on, even if they drag endlessly

It becomes so disgusting to come home and find your people watching Balika Vadhu ( marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce) Diya and Bati (read Akhand Jyoti) , Ye Rishta Kya Kehlaata Hai !! And its happening since the year 2008- its been tormenting 9 long years !! Every 2-3 weeks, they hatch a new idea ! When they ran out of ideas, they casted the protagonist of Ye Rishta Kya Kehlaata Hai- Akshara as blind for a few episodes – imagine the stupidity , and still people watch !! Why can\’t the government come out with a notification to ban these episodes in the interest of hapless sons and husbands !!

4) People asking your about CTC in such a fortright and unabashed manner

Aaj kal kahan ho !! Spurts out the stranger who met you after 2 years !! I replied \’ Uncleji, aapke dil mein\’ ! Perplexed as he was , he said – where you are working ? I mean which company , what CTC !!

The success of your education is equated in today\’s times with your CTC and \’take home\’ salary ! Education is all about market value; as if you are a particular stock with a specific Earning Per Share (EPS) and these concerned individuals will assign a P/E ratio to you !

Go for a 1 year MBA and people will want to draw statistics on the % change in your pre and post MBA salary !! To be forthright, they are really not interested in you !!The hidden motive is to gauge whether its worthwhile for their son/daughter to go for it !

5) !! Husbands wishing wives Happy Anniversary on Facebook ! # VDA

\’Thanks Smita for being the most special person in my life ! Really blessed to have you ! Thank you God !

Dude, public sycophancy on Facebook may help you score brownie points with her; but it can\’t cover the inner frustration every married man has !! Why fake happiness !! I find a lot of my friends honestly admit in private that marriage was one of the top 3 mistakes of their life but social pressures lead them to go for this VDA ( Virtual Display of Affection) on FB

6) Whatsapp Group Birthday Messages

If you have any family/school/college group on whatsapp, imagine the plight when you land up with 125 messages spamming your account, because it is Pooja\’s birthday and everyone types individually \’ Happy Birthday Pooja ! Stay Blessed !! If she has no work during the day, she types and thanks each one individually. Else at the end of the day , she types \” Thanks Guys for the wonderful wishes ! Means a lot to me ! Thanks for making my Day special\’

Sometimes I feel like kicking myself ; you have created e-pollution dude !! Now these special message which tormented us during the day will stay on Whatsapp servers for posterity

7) Facebook Image Grafting !! People checking in dhabas and airports on Facebook !

Rocky just signed into Netaji Subhas International Airport !

His friends like the same and ask where are you flying to?

Some office work yaar

Let\’s admit it, we all want to appear being super-cool on Facebook ! Its our communication window with the external world ! But portraying a \’larger than life\’ image always makes one doubt whether you are really happy !! Why don\’t you sign into schools, colleges and offices, after all that\’s where you spend most of your day and carve your future !!

8) If you leave office on time, you have no work !! the true soldiers are those who slog after 6

Bhai, you toh leave at 6 !! You are so lucky !!

Seriously, is it?

You might have your grey cells buzzing after you\’ve structured a million cell financial valuation model during the day,answered 3 dozen emails and chased 20 potential clients during the day ! But you have been chilling around as leave at 6 !!

It is such a facade of corporate life !! Highest premium being paid to those who otherwise may be inefficient during the day but clock the 2 extra hours in office, work on Sundays, send mails at 2 AM in the night !!

9) People asking age of your near and dear one who might have just left for his/her heavenly abode, and acting as if its so normal if they crossed 60? Retired from job = retired from life !

Come on, this can be so mean !! I might have lost my grandfather who meant the world to me , but for you , the news sparks the question – what was his age ? and if it is more than 60, it was ok, quite normal !! God blessed the departed soul !! Such terse, unemotional and practical replies really hurt ! How does it matter if he was aged 67 years

10) People finding faults in the food served in weddings

Its as if they attend the wedding with the primary objective of eating only, often not even bothering to meet and greet the bride and groom !

Boss, someone has spent an earning of a lifetime on this social facade and you have the audacity to comment that the besan ka chilla didn\’t have enough namak , that the pizza didn\’t have a good topping of cheese, the catering was not of Ganapti !!

Look at your bulging bellies, you should have taken only cucumbers !!

11) Candidates appearing for job interviews to check their market value

For those like us who thrive on recruitment as their \’bread and butter\’, this really can be so shocking !! This desperate job seeker so humbly cajoles us to please search a job for him as he is very frustrated with his existing job, flies on the target company\’s expenses from Surat to Bangalore, and diligently answers each and every call of ours, appearing for the multiple rounds of interviews almost religiously !! Then they show their true colour when the new company finally rolls out the offer letter, giving him a 30% market correction on his 11.5 lacs

Oh it is just 15 lacs, comes the blunt reply !!

I already have an offer letter of 17 lacs from another company

My promotion is due in my existing company ; after which my salary will jump to 16 lacs; what\’s the point

All counter offers and promotion news are brought in only after they are selected!!

We, as intermediaries, have to face the flak, our standard reply is \” Mam, is the unpredictable human nature and we are helpless\”

12 HRs of companies saying \’ We will get back to you\'

Another industry hazard associated with the recruitment industry !! Chase any HR for days and months and they have always been traveling (around the world in 80 days, it seems ) When they finally take the call, they say that they already have a pool of existing vendors ! You pitch in with your distinct value proposition and they say \’we will get back to you\’.

if they give work, they appear to be in a state of urgency – \’Sonia, please send CVs immediately for this position, it\’s on fire\’ . You feel obliged to slog it out and deliver a turnaround time of 24 hrs. Then you wait for a month for the feedback, send endless mails and finally the HR replies \’ we will get back to you\’.

You get someone interviewed; that someone keeps chasing you as you are the intermediary and when you ask the HR for feedback , the HR replies \’ we will get back to you\’.