The Cognitive Triangle

Good Afternoon,

Often, each appraisal discussion and the subsequent bell-curved ratings , lead to our team members being told that they are not good enough. Like the case of a typical goalkeeper, no matter how many goals they save, the manager remembers only the goals they missed. So the critical meetings where they submitted erroneous workings are highlighted with emphasis in the discussions
Associated emotion in mind of employee: I have been unfairly treated
Resulting behaviour:  I am a loser
Loss to Organisational – Lower Productivity 
This interconnected loop of thoughts, emotions & behaviours is what psychologists call ‘The Cognitive Triangle’.
Unfortunately, it seems we’re evolutionarily habituated towards engaging more with those loops that end up labelling us ‘Not Good-Enough’. Which is perhaps why we usually don’t think about the compliment someone pays us as much as we overthink the criticism someone passes.  You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other.
So even when you praise later, the feeling is – Now that he wants to extract work from me, he is acting nicely. Let the appraisals and promotions discussions come . I will be treated unfairly again
This is a vicious cycle – leading to enhanced toxicity in the organisation
What do you think?
What are the steps we can take to arrest it
Would love to hear from you.
Thanks,
Sonia